Posted: 24/10/2002

Drugs: harmless fun or a dance with death?

By Charles Firth
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This week, the Firth Factor gets away from the hype to consider why, if your kids take drugs, they will almost definitely die a sudden and painful death.
 

What are your kids doing right now? You might think they’re safe in bed, or doing their homework.
But how do you know they’re not getting whacked out on goofballs from the cocktail of drugs on offer at any school? A cocktail that could have tragedy written all over it. It’s something that every good parent should constantly worry about.
Everyone knows that 99% of kids take drugs every day. But think for a moment about what that’s doing to their minds. This is the brain from a kid who took drugs. Guess what happened to him? He’s now dead. Our investigation shows that every single drug user who’s had their brain removed is now dead.
You may think it doesn’t apply to your kids. They may seem well adjusted, happy and have plenty of friends. But ask yourself this: how can they be that happy all the time? It’s totally unnatural!
They’re probably only happy because they’re doped up on Maui Wowie right under your very own nose.
And your kids may spend hours on the phone chatting to their friends. But how do you know they’re talking to their dealer discussing the next drop off of a kilo of high grade crack.
And don’t ever be so foolish to think they’re too young for drugs…this is a sight that’s becoming far too common. But there is hope. The police have now joined forces with 'The Factor' and Fungry's in an education campaign to prevent drug use in schools.
Remember, little dudes, drugs aren’t hip. You may think they’re cool, but what’s cool about being so high you feel like the ruler of the universe? The campaign tells kids the coolest thing they can do is talk to their parents about drugs. As a parent, your kids trust you implicitly. So you should use this trust to exaggerate the effects of drugs and scare the hell out of them.
But even then, how can you know for certain they’re not frunched outed on spinballs. The solution is so simple. To really tackle the problem you’ve got to look at the underlying cause of drugs.
Kids take drugs because they’re unhappy with their lives. So we should help them have happy lives by getting them off the drugs and giving them anti-depressants. That way they won’t need to take drugs.
And that’s the Firth Factor.

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