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Fungry's and nutrition

As a parent, we understand your concern about multinational corporations advertising food products to your children. That's why at Fungry's™, we pride ourselves on always being first to respond to trends and fashions in the world of diet, nutrition, and children's spending patterns.

That's why at Fungry's™, we take health warnings and class actions very seriously.
 

It's Like Smoking

At Fungry's™, we're not afraid to make changes to accommodate the latest information in health and nutrition.
 

Remember when they first said smoking was bad for you?
 

In response, we at Fungry's™ banned smoking in all our stores. We also withdrew our popular soft drink NicoFizz™. Kids the world over were left with some headaches, we can tell you! DiBut we did what was best for their health.
 

Our burgers are heartfelt

Fats come in two types: good and bad. Triglycerides are bad fats. When the US Health Council reported that these bad fats caused congestive heart failure and severe depression, we at Fungry's™ responded by reducing the amount of triglycerides available in our burgers, fries and Fungdaes™, and replacing them with a new type of genetically engineered fat not yet classified by scientists as either good or bad. This new fat is called NewFat™.
 

In 1991, we took a tip from a famous fast-food chicken franchise that made its food healthier by removing the word 'Fried' from all its products. We renamed our fries F's.
 

Different fat, same flavour

So, by replacing all those bad fats, how do we keep that same delicious Fungry's™ flavour?
 

While bad fats might taste great, NewFat™ requires a taste-boosting buffer. Fortunately, there is a reliable organic product that delivers real flavour dividends when combined with NewFat™. Believe it or not, this flavour catapult is a traditional spice your grandmother might have used, handed down from generation to generation. It's called salt.
 

At Fungry's, we are constantly thinking of your health as well as your palate.
 

A World of Fungry's

Fungry's has built its burger homes in many nations. We're often asked how we ensure the nutritional needs of so many different cultures, some of them very strange.
 

That's why we introduced our United Nutritional Forces™. Our armed UN Forces™ guard the doors of Fungry's outlets when anti-globalisation protesters try to prevent families from enjoying their Fungry's meals.
 

Patty the Cow™

Our research shows that some cuts of meat are more nutritious than others. While the rump is delicious, for instance, the healthiest cut of beef is in fact the head. That's why we use the entire cow in our 100% beef patties. You get the best of flavour and nutrition combined!
 

What's more, our "whole-animal" abattoirage techniques are more environmentally efficient. Less whole cows are required per thousand patties.
 

Enough about nutrition! I'm Fungry!

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