Retracted: 20:30, 7/11/2002

Gene breakthrough

By Chris Taylor
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GENEVA - In what’s being hailed as a biotech breakthrough, gay scientists claim to have isolated the Christian gene.

		Gay scientists the world over are stunned by the new Christian gene finding.

According to reports, homosexual geneticists have spent years attempting to isolate the gene that renders people Christian. As members of the Pink Tiger Research Institute, they’re hoping to isolate the cause of Christianity altogether within the next decade.

Dr Gary Delaney claims gay scientists have already prevented rats from being born Christian. “And hopefully,” says Dr Delaney, “humans will follow.”

Many Christians object to the findings, claiming their belief is not genetically determined.

Mr Ben Heppell, a. practising Christian says, “Look, Christianity is a lifestyle choice. It’s perfectly natural.”

But Pink Tiger claims the controversial religion is part of people’s DNA they say, Christianity can be inherited, just like baldness.

“The way they dress, the way they talk, they way they exhibit themselves in public” explains Dr Delaney. “We now know that being Christian is actually not their fault.”

Scientists say that until a method is found to remove the Christian gene, gay scientists will continue counselling local Christians to make positive changes to their lifestyle and values.

Parents of Christians, like Anne and Chris Mills, welcome the news with relief.

“We always worried that if we’d done something different, our child would not have ended up a Christian” says Mrs Mills. “But now we know he didn’t have a choice.”

Now, thanks to the work of Pink Tiger, there is a choice, which is good for Christians everywhere.