C'mon Australia: give it a tilt!

Profiteering

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Tilt Australia

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If you care about the drought — if you care about our farmers — then CNNNN is the only place where you can make a genuine difference.
 

By subscribing to CNNNN, buying ChaserCorp affiliated newspapers, or a Tilt Burger at Fungry's, or by tuning in to our special pay-per-view Tilt Aid concert, only then might we raise enough money to be able to fund rousing ad campaigns like this.

So, please, phone now, and pledge your support:
1800–DROUGHT–PROFITEERING

Just a dollar a day can provide enough CNNNN flags for an entire drought-ridden town.

With your help, we're hoping to raise enough money to fund all our commercial promotions…that's the hard bit.

After that, it's just a matter of the government finding the money to pay for the actual tilt.

Alan Jones, you're wrong!

Despite our deep and abiding respect, CNNNN must disagree with our mentor Alan Jones, who recently said:

"Why cant we use the surplus water and build a pipeline from, say, the Ord River to perhaps, Alice Springs and down to Adelaide which is desperately in need of drinking water, to Broken Hill, through Western NSW and Western Queensland?"

It's a crazy plan. But what Jones didn't mention is the next step - and this is why Packer backs it obviously - the entire river system is then redirected again so all the water runs straight into Packer's property. Then onto Jamie's residence at Bondi - just in case he runs out of water in his pool.

You don't need to be an expert to know that that is a ludicrous plan. Completely unworkable!

But thankfully there is a sane solution that can help us drought-proof Australia.

How CNNNN will drought-proof Australia

People always tell you the drought can't be fixed. But the sad thing is - the solution is so simple.

Because of the Great Dividing Range, there's too much water on the Eastern seaboard but if we tilt the country to the west the water will naturally flow inland.

And amazingly, it will only cost just under $80 billion.

All we need is a few controlled explosions on the edge of the continental shelf. WA drops five meters. Country tilts like a see saw. Water moves. Drought solved!

So, please, phone now, and pledge your support:
1800–DROUGHT–PROFITEERING